I can't say it enough… Cancer Sucks!

I've been trying to get an update out for awhile now.  It just seems as I get a little time,  I take 10 steps back.  I've learned to just BREATHE, and take it one day at a time.    To let go some and let things happen on their own.  

 

July 10, 2008

 

Yesterday,  I was smiling ear to ear, appreciating the simple things in life.  I appreciate more the ordinary things I use to do on a daily basis and didn't hurt and I was doing them again.   Today, not so good.   Everything started going wrong with my schedule to take my iodine pill which is critical to Kaylynn's NY trip, Reeve's birthday, me being away from the kids 8 days, and my next round of chemo.   Kaylynn has been spiking fevers of 103 degrees off and on for almost two months and we found out she had had a urinary tract infection and need to have an ultrasound of her kidney's etc.   Whew,  lots of news today. 

 

Then at 8pm,  I get the two calls I NEVER EVER WANTED,   I just kept saying NO NO NO NO NO

My dear friend, Michelle Bynum, who was diagnosed 6 months after my mom passed in 2005, at 36 found out her breast cancer has come back to her chest and spine.    I'll yell it this time,  CANCER SUCKS!   We need those prayers.   I'm ready for the fight,  but S_ _ T,  I'm pissed we have to fight again.   Are you freaking kidding me?   I told Gus,  I'm tired of getting older.  And 35 years old is older?

 

I remember the day I was diagnosed, November 2, 2007.   Michelle said,  "you will win this battle, but I hate what you are going to have to go through"   That was an understatement.   It is a really hard to battle something that  tests every part of your body, spirit, mind, world.    And I shed tears thinking what battle she must face again.  Prayers, Prayers!

 

Here was the updated I worked on the last two weeks:

 

Monday,  June 30th

The Kolineks are doing well.   Seriously, we have a lot of blessings.   I finished my hardest rounds of chemo,  Kaylynn looks great and DEFINITELY does not have any development delays.   Reeve is happy again and healthy.   Larry is hanging in there, beginning to be less stressed and working out    Larry and I even went out on a date for my 35th birthday.  

 

We started out the summer with a great trip to Florida.  We first went to St. Petersburg/Tampa area to see one of Larry's clients The Dann's.    We had a blast going to the Tampa zoo,  staying in their beautiful two bedroom condo over looking the gulf and watching the sunset every night.   The kids loved the beach and sand.   Kaylynn would walk right out into the water and dump sand into her hair.   We had a blast playing with the Dann family.  Reeve loved playing with Sawyer, age 5, and Parker age 3.   Larry even got to go deep sea fishing on Mark Dann's boat and caught at least 350 lbs of Red Snapper, Tuna, and Grouper. Good eating! 

 

We then headed to Fort Meyers/Sanibel island to see our friends, the Peloquins, who moved there from Austin.   It was good to see our friends.   We had an excellent time having dinner made for us,  relaxing and catching up.  Reeve and Sophie, their daughter,  had a lot of fun.   Larry's parents then joined us on Father's Day.  A lot of fun being all together with no doctor appts, no schedule and no household duties.   It was another great week on the beach, building sand castle's, swimming and relaxing.   

 

I'm hanging in there.   I seem to have a suppressed immune system due to steroids and chemo.  So I live with a sinus infection that won't go away.    Seriously,  I think I have had green coming out of my nose for at least 3 months now.   Where does it come from anyway?   It is gone finally.

 

My neuropathy is a little better, but my hands, arms and legs still hurt often.   The problem is the more active you are the more the neuropathy flairs up.  And if you have been around the Kolinek kids lately,  active is what we do.  I thought girls where suppose to be calmer?   Are you kidding me?   Kaylynn stops to eat and sleep.   I'm also encouraged to exercise and I'm trying to train for my 60 mile breast cancer walk in October.   A good friend said,  it is a balancing act, so true.

 

Wednesday July 8th 

 

I'm feeling better,  got a little more energy since I started a new round of supplemental treatment I get every week for 8 weeks.  Another 3 hours a week in the chemo room,  but this time for really good juice.  When I have my Herceptin treatment every 3 weeks, that is 5-6 hours in the chemo room a week.  I'm feeling better, but I think my butt is getting flatter.  :)  My new supplemental treatment s helping with my neuropathy and energy level.   As I have began to not have such pain in my hands, arms and legs.   Today,  I take Kaylynn walking on town lake in Austin.

 

You began to really appreciate the things you use to do on a normal basis when it is taken from you.    Kaylynn loved being on the trail and loves seeing all the dogs.   You can now ask her what does a dog say?  She says, whoof whoof.   She pointed at every one that passed us.   She even began to cry when I started to put her into the car, she wanted to keep walking.   I would do that walk 2-3 times a week with Reeve and Kaylynn had her first ride at 17 months.   We are getting back to speed.

 

I had a great 35th birthday.   Most of you know,  how much I LOVE my birthday.  I think birthdays are very special.  Now I really appreciate every year even more, remembering life is precious.    I took the morning all to myself and went to the gym and saw a great movie.  It was nice.   I felt alive.  

 

We had a great 4th of July.   We went swimming, played, had a lot of fun,  Larry went crazy with the fireworks again.   Just enjoying the simple things in life and summer. 

 

We leave for New York July 20th for Kaylynn's next round.   We have a new laser treatment July 21st with our favorite Dr. Waner, we then see our cardiologist to make sure Kaylynn's heart is repairing from the steroids.   July 22nd we go to the ophthalmologist to make her sight is improving and morning glory is not effecting her sight, and then to Dr. Blei our hematologist to eview any changes regarding her development and PHACE syndrome.    Kaylynn will have another MRI/MRA in Austin soon.   I'll update everyone after our New York trip.

 

It has been 8 months since I was diagnosed.  We have come a far way.   Things have began to calm down at times.  There is not a day that I don't count my blessings,  think about all of you, my support group and smile.   I appreciate every prayer, every word, every gesture.   You all have made my life that much better.

 

Hugs,

Traci