Chemo Round 2, Going Bald

Okay,   I must say today was one of my hardest days.    I didn't think it would be, but after having nausea for Friday and Saturday with no energy, then waking up to my bones aching, nausea, and then seeing my hair fall out as I walked across the room.   I had enough.  I felt beat up.

 

I told Larry,  let's take the kids upstairs and shave my head.   Reeve enjoyed the moment for a little while.    Larry just smiled at me and you could feel his pain for me through his eyes.  He knew that I was being pushed to my final point.    Honestly,  my ribs and chest bones stick out,  my port is all bruised,  I have a scar across my neck,  two large scars across my chests and now bald.    This all within two months of being diagnosed with breast cancer.      Some days,   you really just want to cry and say GEEEZZZ "Cancer Sucks".   

 

It was not losing my hair that made it so emotional for me,  as just feeling really exhausted.    Not being able to be myself.   A lot of emotions hit hard today.   I missed my mom a lot.   Although, Gus helped me pick myself up.     I did decide that since I had so much nausea,  I had a great cheat day and skipped my diet.    It felt good to have chips and queso,  oatmeal raisin cookie and a root beer.   Hell,  I can't get drunk on margaritas or crown and cokes (Marcie knows how these make me crazy) , so why not load up on sugar for a day.

 

It was just one of those days.   

 

The good news,   my blood counts where up before chemo on Thursday.  So I had less dose of the Nulastea shot, hopefully meaning less bone pain.  And my body is handling chemo well to stay on the faster track.   Dr. Fain, oncologist, is so great.   He asked me if I needed anything else,  and Theresa,  friend who went to chemo,  and I were thinking  "can we see the menu?"      TWO DOWN,   TWO TO GO for RED DEVIL!   

 

Love,

Traci

 

I'll send a blad picture later.    This was my short hair do.   And then Reeve Shaving my Head.